Life after divorce. What does it look like? When do you get a new life? When is it proper?
Well in my honest opinion, screw what is proper! You will know when you are ready. Don't let someone that has never been divorced tell you that "you just need to get back on that horse" No, you don't have to get onto any horse, or maybe you can get on more than one horse...if you know what I mean.
So this is what I have found. There are three kinds of dating. I will explain this in a moment but I must also post a disclaimer. I am not a Doctor, or a Psychologist. I have no real medical theories and I don't claim too. I also do not give out advise I state my opinions and my thoughts from experience. So please don't take what I say as gospel. So that being said lets get down to the three kinds of dating.
1) If there are levels of dating this is the lowest. This is the kind of dating where you go out to meet a guy, or girl, just to get a piece of ass. Now ladies, you have needs. Needs that an adult toy will not fulfill. Sometimes you just want a warm body to knock boots with. Now I am not judging, hell I would be the last one to judge, but this is not going to be as satisfying as you might think unless you are paying for it. You can not tell how good a guy is going to be by sizing up his Wranglers. Some take 8 seconds as a serious goal to focus on and get too, others could rub a hole in a steal pipe before they get to the top. So be careful who comes home with you if you are wanting a little g-spot action. That doesn't mean you can't get lucky and someone must be getting something because there are a lot of girls out there hoping bars and going home with a midnight cowboy. There are benefits, if you do get lucky, there are no strings and no attachments and you won't feel bad if he doesn't call you the next day. You just needed to get a bit of release so that you can think straight. I think this is why a lot of us sleep with our ex's after the divorce. We need the release, but end up in that emotional roller-coaster again. But Toys are available and there is no shame in purchasing a vibrator. Just tell your mom its a shoulder massager.
2) You need a friend kind of date. You need someone of the opposite sex that will take you out to the movies, dinner, dancing, hiking, biking or anything that just gets you out of the house and into public interactions. Often times we are working our butts off, and we need to not forget that we need some fun. The fact is that we are not meant to be alone but we don't want to feel pressured. Gay guys are great for this. Especially gay guys just getting out of a relationship. Nothing say friendship when you guys can go on a hike, have a good cry and eat ice cream like a broken hearted straight girl and a broken hearted gay guy. I speak from experience...every girl needs a gay guy.
Now this guy friend does not have to be gay. He can be straight but he CANNOT be married. Your guy friend that is married is not a safe guy friend when you are not married. And the guy friends wife won't think so either. Church divorce groups are pretty good for things like this, but this can get a bit hairy especially if the guy is needing a stress breaker. So I suggest finding a gay friend...really! They make the best shopping companions too. For those that find offense to this, straight or gay...sorry I have two gay friends and they are the best "girl-guy friends I have ever had....and they will tell you they love to shop too.
3) The finding a new guy date. This is the most dangerous date. If you are not ready, these guys can be dangerous to your self-esteem and confidence. They wine and dine you and love you both inside and outside the bed and then when you think its time to pick out new china they are gone....not always, but this can and has happened. Be careful, very careful when this kind of guy happens. Make sure you are ready and not want to replace. What is your reasoning, do you want this guy or need this guy. Can you live without him. In my opinion a guy is suppose to compliment you as a partner. He is not going to change your mind about your dreams and goals. He is going to support your dreams and goals and his dreams and goals should be just as important to him and you should be supporting his life decisions. There is a place for each of you in each others life. If this isn't the idea, you might find someone that you want.....not someone that you need.
Soooo, now I have given my two-cents on dating. As I said before, this is not gospel, this is just one woman's random thoughts and experiences.
