A note

A couple of years ago I wrote a little note to some people that felt they knew my life so well that they could speak about it.  They wrote me a letter basically telling me I was going to hell. Seriously.  I was hurt at first, but than I decided I should be angry.  They didn't know anything about me. They didn't know about the abuse, they didn't know about the multiple affairs, they didn't know about the rape.   

They didn't know, and because they didn't know they should never ever judge a person until they do know.  We never know the walk a person is walking. We don't know if they were abused as a child or lived a life of wealth and privilege. We don't know if their parents were immigrants with different cultures and they had to walk the boundaries of this world and the old world. When you think about it, none of us have the right to give our opinion without it being asked of us.  So this is what I wrote. It was true then and its true now.

June 12, 2010.
This is for those who think my life sucks and feel the need to remind me of how bad I have it.
Yep, there are things in my life that really really suck.... things that make some people judge and pre-judge. Decisions that I have made that have caused people to feel the need to tell me how to live my life. To those  people I say...clean your own closet and leave mine to me. My decisions are just that - mine!! I might regret those decisions in the future but again those are, and will be, my regrets. I have made decisions that were totally accepted by you and the "righteous" and have regretted those more then any decisions I have ever made. But who can look back on their life and say that they don't regret something in their life. I take full responsibility for my actions and my reactions. If you choose to contact me again in the future make damn sure you ave no regrets or have never made a bad decision in your life. Advise I can accept - but telling me that I am going to hell because of the decisions that I am making and that I need to turn my life around before it is to late does absolutely nothing but piss me off. there is a reason that leaders need to have their "houses" in order before they can lead. So may I offer you a mop and broom?
Also if you choose to beat me over the head with the bible...please make sure you know your bible...because I do and nothing pisses me off more than someone brow beating another with the word of God. god is love and no matter my decisions - God does and will always love me. You might take in consideration how your message sounds to a God that wrote the very words that you are using as a weapon. You and people like you are why those that really believe in God don't go to church. You can make bad decisions and fail at a lot of thing and still have God in your life.
If I have learned anything in the last year I have learned one thing...who really matters...who really cares and when my back is to the wall who I can rely on. they are more what a believer should be than anyone I have ever got to church with. (That doesn't mean that I haven't gone to to church with them.)
I am not ignoring the things that suck, I am not hiding from the issues, I am dealing with them. Just because I am not doing it "your" way does not mean that i am not dealing with them. You are not, and will never be, privy to all dimensions of my life. So please go live your life and let others live theirs.
There are those that feel the need to speak words and rumors. If you believe that you will never be found out...be sure that you will. Your words can be up-lifting or damaging, there is no in-between. So before you open your mouth you might decide how you want to swing that sword.
By now, some of you are wondering "what the hell?" This is not directed to you but to a few that have felt the need to tell me that I have " lost my way." I might have lost my way..OR..I might have just found a different way. Thank God there are those that are willing to travel a different way or we would still be listening to "Godly men" read the bible in Latin and never knowing anything different. "Preach the gospel always, if necessary use words." ~ St. Francis of Assisi.
If you need an explanation of that statement - in layman's terms....live it don't preach it!!
To those that really give a damn there are things in my life that are truly amazing and wonderful and I choose to focus on those things and deal with the sucky things as they come along. This note that I am posting means that I have just had to deal with a few sucky things.

Now back to my amazing and wonderful life.